Undisclosed Desires
by brencon
Summary: It's the night of Aaron and Holly's first date and Adam can't leave his friendship the way it is. Sequel to "Forget Myself"
1. Chapter 1

Aaron kissed her, and it was nice, it was different. But it was an act. Adam was mere feet away from him, his eyes burning with disgust as his 'best mate' kissed his sister. Words burned on his tongue, wishing to be shouted out loud for everyone to hear – liar, denial, thug.

Yet Adam held his voice. Kept himself quiet, stilled his words. If he _did_ anything, it would hurt his sister deeply.

The Barton siblings were soon on their way home, with Holly praising the date for its gloriousness and Adam biting his tongue, fighting back the tirade of revelations once more.

They arrived at the homestead, and Adam came to a decision.

"I'm just going to check the sheep, see if they're still alive!" He aimed to make a joke, but failed miserably.

"It's half 10! Don't bother son, they'll be asleep by now anyway," his father laughed at the joke any way.

"Still better safe than sorry and all that. Be back in a bit," Adam called as he donned his winter jacket once more and retrieved the key for the quad from his pocket.

He came to a decision – it was time to pay a visit to vet's home and sort this out once and for all.

--

Aaron arrived home, divested himself of his jacket and grabbed a couple of cans of lager from the fridge. Making his way to the living room, he found Paddy playing a round of zombie-killing on the games console.

He passed the can to Paddy, , ignored the question on the success of the date and accepted the other controller and joined in the killing spree.

He pushed all thoughts of any Barton's from his mind as he sliced a zombie in half. He couldn't deal with the level of lies he'd created in the past few days, specifically on the date tonight.

He's stopped himself from kissing Holly; had told himself he wasn't going to do it, until Adam had arrived with a glare pasted to his face. If looks could kill, Aaron would now be as the figures on the screen had been – six feet under.

A continual rap at the door soon averted his attention.

"It's almost eleven – who's calling over at this time?" Paddy asked, pausing the machine as he rose to his feet.

Aaron sipped from his can as he watched the seconds hand on the clock tick bye painfully slow. He heard voices as the door closed shut with a snap.

"Look who's called for a sleepover!" Paddy poorly joked, smiling between the two teens.

Noticing the forced smiles on the so-called best friends faces, Paddy soon made his excuses and retired to his room.

"Wanna bevy?" Aaron asked, jumping to his feet and entering the kitchen. Adam accepted the can and sat at the dinner table.

Aaron rested against the countertop, finished off his first can and cracked open his second.

"What's with the late night call, mate?" Aaron asked, watching Adam from the corner of his eye as he opened his can, drank what seemed quite a lot and rested the can before himself on the table top.

"It's about you... being gay, and yet you're kissing my sister!"

"I'm not gay... no idea where ya got that from," Aaron held fast, sipping lightly at his can.

"You tried to kiss me... I know you did, so there's no point in denying it Aaron, alright! Listen, I'm not saying that it's wrong that you're gay, it's just... messing with my sister, it's gonna hurt everyone. And I don't want to get caught up in the middle of this!" Adam sighed heavily, thumping the table top before lifting his can to his face once more.

He watched as Aaron's chest rose in deeply, and fell quickly in quick succession as his eyes widened in fear.

"I'm not gay!" He burst once more with the rhetoric of denial, stamping his way in front of Adam, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Adam shot to his feet, his arms held open as if an invitation.

"Go on then! Do it! Hit me! Do something! Just DO IT!" Adam yelled!

Aaron clenched his fists once more and then released a heavy sigh... before crashing his mouth to Adam's. His arms rested on Adam's hips and pulled them tight, close together.

The kiss deepened, Adam opening his mouth to allow Aaron entrance.

But if you blinked you would have missed it, for Adam pushed Aaron away and pulled back himself.

Gasping for breath, Aaron rose his hand to his mouth, turned away from Adam and ran to his room, his heartbeat echoing throughout the quiet house.

Adam remained at the kitchen table, his mouth wide with shock. He sat once more, took his can in his hand and just stared into the nothingness.

--

Aaron fought the tears that threatened to spill. He'd tried, so hard, to push that urge deep in the back of his mind. And it had worked, for a while. And yet here he was, sitting in the dark, crying silently to himself after he kisses his best mate.

He couldn't breathe, his chest felt tight, and as he tore the shirt from his chest he felt the shame lift slightly, only to settle on his shoulders. To him, this shame was like the weight of the world and he couldn't fight his feelings any more, or he would be crushed under its pressure.

So he delved into his feelings. No more denying it now.

"No more lies," he whispered.

There came a knock to the his door, and Adam was soon standing in the doorway. He said nothing, crossed towards the bed and sat beside Aaron on the bed.

"I... Ehm...." Aaron attempted, but ceased quickly.

"I'm not surprised... well, slightly, thought you were gonna knock me for six! Although... the kiss certainly was more effective."

Aaron laughed and finally found his voice.

"Knew it'd shut ya up," he said, and nudged Adam's shoulder with his own.

Adam smirked as he rested back against the wall. He closed his eyes, not knowing what else could happen this night.

"I'm just... I'm so confused. I don't know what I'm doing; I don't know who I am anymore," Aaron started, rubbing a hand over his head. "I've never felt this way before, I've... it's not something I'm used to being!"

"So you deny everything and start going out with my sister?! That's your answer?!" Adam asked incredulously.

"What else could I do? Admit it, then have everyone think I'm gay? That'd go down well in my family... Mum and Carl fucking King would have been so pleased!"

Aaron stood up and began pacing. Adam watched him before getting to his feet.

"Oi! Just stop, before you set the house on fire!" Adam grabbed at Aaron, and once again Aaron couldn't stop himself, and he kissed Adam with every ounce of feeling that pounded through his system, through his heart.

Before either of them knew anything more, they were on top of the bed, both bare-chested. And Adam, for all his comments and dirty looks over the past few days, found himself not only enjoying this intimate affair but relishing in it... taking part in it; returning the actions in kind.

His hands pinched at Aaron's nipples, his fingers twisting at the already pointed nubs. His breathing shook as Aaron's hands made circles, creeping lower and lower towards the belt of his jeans.

--

Aaron was shaking, yet this was the most exhilarating thing to have ever occurred to him in his life. The kiss was awe-inspiring, the feeling of Adam's skin against his own was intense, and the heat was electrifying.

His hands moved lower down Adam's body, as he finally gripped the belt loops of the jeans.

And Aaron pulled away, and his breathe hitched, and he simply couldn't speak.

"What... what have y... what've you done to me?" Adam suddenly asked, kissing Aaron's neck.

Aaron chuckled, kissed Adam hard, so much so that he drew blood, and began to kneel before him.

The belt was soon removed and tossed aside, the jeans and boxer briefs gone and the socks and trainers discarded and Adam was left bare for the world to be seen.

And he was excited. Aaron could not take his eyes from it. His hand reached out of its own accord, and it was indescribable - the difference between the feeling of someone elses hard on than his own, how it was almost velvet-like, with hard as steel. It was arousing.

--

Adam groaned to the touch. His hands moved to Aaron's buzzed head. His dick suddenly was swallowed in the heat of Aaron's mouth, the tongue teasing Adam.

He groaned loudly, and pulled back instantly, withdrawing himself from Aaron's mouth.

"Sorry, I can't... it's... sorry."

And he pulled his clothes on, carried his shoes out and ran from the home of the vet and the mechanic.

Aaron crumpled onto his bed. He wondered where everything went wrong. But he was sure of himself now. He had more of an idea who he was. Now he just needed to aid his best mate. In deciding who he was, so they could finally get past this area of grey.

For better or worse.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been ten days of angry glances, snide comments and double meanings. Aaron was going crazy. He broke things off with Holly (much to her surprise after his non-stop chasing), all his calls to Adam rejected or ignored, his texts not replied to.

And now himself and Paddy were spending Christmas Day at the Barton farm (following dinner with the Dingle's) and the karaoke had been broken out. And it was Adam and Aaron to now go all 'Stars In Their Eyes'.

After the disastrous event of their singing, Adam grabbed a can and took his leave, heading from the house to the farmyard.

Aaron laughed as Paddy destroyed another Elvis Presley song, supped his lager and then followed in Adam's wake.

The path was ice covered, the roof tops snow covered and yet the alcohol running through his system was keeping the cold from his body.

He searched around the area, his eyes scanning for Adam. And he found him, sitting on the gate to the sheep pen, his can clenched in his hands.

Aaron cleared his throat and walked over to his mate.

"Hey," Aaron started, before pulling himself up beside his best mate.

"Hi," Adam replied, smiling sadly. He downed his can and tossed it into a nearby rubbish heap (the barrels he was supposed to get Andy to help him move) and wrapped his arms around himself.

The air was thick with tension, Aaron's mind running through possible topics of discussion. He was about to break the silence when a snowball crashed into his face, followed by snow being shoved down the front of his shirt.

"Oi!" he exclaimed, jumping off the gate. Adam, laughing so hard that he brought tears to his eyes, fell from his perch backwards into the field.

"Ooph," he cried, his breath knocked from his lungs. Aaron, worry-filled, jumped the gate and crouched beside his friend, his can forgotten about as its contents poured over the ice. His hand rose to Adam's chest, where he rested it.

"You alright, mate?" he asked, his face etched in worry.

"I'm fine, but I think I broke my back!" Adam stated, trying to sit up. His straight face failed him, and he once more fell into a round of giggles. Aaron, once consumed with worry, released his breath and joined in on the laughter.

"C'mon," Adam started, pulling himself up, "let's get in, it's freezing out here!"

"Yeah, I figured as much, since the snow is freezing to my chest! I have ice on my chest!"

Adam helped Aaron to his feet, laughing once more.

"Right, I'll give ya t-shirt to change into. Let's head back in."

--

The friends re-entered the homestead to find Adam's sisters singing along to Lady GaGa and Beyonce.

"Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sipping that bubb and you're not gonna reach my telephone!"

"My telephone!"

The song came to an end with rapturous applause.

Aaron and Adam shuffled past, heading for the stairs.

Reaching his room, Adam quickly pulled a t-shirt from his closet as Aaron divested himself of his frozen garments.

The silence was awkward. The last time we were together, Aaron thought, I was on my knees and we were... Aaron softly groans, before accepting the piece of clothing from Adam.

"Alright there mate?" Adam asks, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Yeah, just thinking..." Aaron replied gruffly, pulling the garment down his chest. The smell of warm, fresh, clean, clothes was undercut with a scent that Aaron could only quantify as being Adam.

And he carried this calm smile as he sat beside Adam on the bed.

"It's... it's not as awkward as I thought it'd be," Aaron started, lying back on the bed.

"Well, my sister isn't a vindictive person, she's doesn't hold any kind of revenge against people." Adam replied, copying Aaron's move.

Aaron laughed, a light, short laugh.

"I didn't mean between me and Holly."

Adam sighed, rubbed his face as Aaron wrapped his arms across his chest.

"I thought we weren't talking about that?"

Aaron groaned in frustration.

"It's not like it didn't happen... that we didn't enjoy it! Why are you denyin' it?"

"Because suddenly I'm kissing my best mate and he's on his knees before me! It's too much! I don't trust myself!"

"After all the time you haunted me, now you're going through it too!"

"At least I know I'm not gay!" Adam venomously replied, suddenly sitting up, spitting with anger.

"Finally, a reaction!"

Aaron got to his feet as Adam covered his face.

"I know I'm not gay, I'm positive. It's just, you do something to me, that I just can't explain away. You make me happier than I've ever felt."

"It's... I've been lying to myself since I was 13," Aaron started. He sighed, his chest tight as he began the long explanation. "It's something I've been fighting... and, when I'm with you, I can't help myself... I like you more than a friend and dealing with has been killing me."

Adam listened, turning on his side to look at his friend.

"So I was trying to get with your sister, trying to pull her, and all the time I wanted you; I still want you."

"So you being angry and violent is just a cover?"

"Better for blokes to think I'm trying to nick their car than I'm hitting on them."

--

A few hours later and the mates had not moved from Adam's room. They'd talked all they could, about anything and everything.

"Want another drink? I'm parched!" Adam asked, getting to his feet.

"Yeah, go on."

The duo returned to the living room, to find the family (and Paddy) enjoying the latest Doctor Who special as Adam grabbed a couple of cans from the fridge.

They watched the scene occurring on the TV, as the Barton patriarch snored loudly, before returning to the sanctuary of Adam's bedroom.

"So, any other guy's in the village you fancy?" Adam asked, cracking open his can.

"Ashley gets me hot." Aaron replied, as dry as a comment can be.

Adam laughed, his face shattering with the surprise and dull tone that Aaron used.

"Laurel will be after you with her handbag swinging!"

"Seriously, I don't wanna talk about this."

"Fine... It's just, the other night, it's not going to happen again, you do know that right? It can't happen again."

"I figured as much. You aren't gay, so why'd you wanna get with your best mate? It's not like your Craig and I'm John Paul!"

"Did you just compare us to fictional characters in Hollyoaks?" Aaron nodded. "Did you enjoy them two getting together?" Aaron nodded, slightly. "Would it be easier for you if I was gay?"

"Well, we get along – best mate I've ever had – and you already know about me, it would simplify the future for me."

"Sorry to disappoint!"

"Don't worry mate, that ship has sailed," Aaron smiled, opening his own can as he rested against the wall.

"Mate, I just... you seem very calm... I've been expecting an outburst of violence. Or you kissing me again."

"The last time you thought that, we went a lot further than kissing." Aaron reminded, and both boys phased back to that day when their relationship changed. "I just, I hope we can stay mates, that things won't get awkward."

"We'll be fine, mate. And, if you ever wanna talk, I'm here for ya, alright?"

"Merry Christmas, mate."


End file.
